.325.

[peacefully]

Post anonymously (or not, if you're brave) and say what you really feel about the poster. Everything from bad to good, and expect them to take it. If they post this meme, they are accepting before hand that whatever you say will be without consequence, and will not hurt your friendship. This is a mark of what they are willing to do for you.

Comments

[anzu-less.livejournal.com]

No, I'm glad there's a way we can talk. And thank you a lot for keeping it here, I think you're right and this is a good way to handle it rather then leaving weird journal entries for each other to guess about.

As for an explanation, I guess the reason why it was really unclear is because I'm not even sure of it myself. I know that's such a horrible answer, but it's the truth. When I get close to someone, really close, I have this tendency to push them away. It happens to me all the time with online friends, and a lot of the time with real life friends. I feel like it's a combination of so many things. On one hand, I'm always so scared to talk to people on msn or chat, because what if the conversation goes dead? And what if it's my fault for being boring? I've got this strange fear of boring other people, so to avoid that possibility I often opt for just not talking to people at all. I also shy away from MSN because even if there is one person I want to talk to, I know four people are going to come at me at once, and for me a conversation is something that I'm very involved in, so if there are too many, or if it fails, it just takes a lot out of me and makes me feel horrible.

I could feel that hapeneing when we were together. That's why there were those long bouts of time where... I just didn't want to get on MSN. As you can see, it wasn't about you at all, it was all about my own selfishness, insecurities, and issues. You really are someone that is so special to me, you make me feel like I'm worth so much, and just lift me up in a strange way I can't quite explain. I got scared that I was in our relationship for selfish reasons, and that wasn't fair to you. In a weird way, it was just easier for us not to be together. My strange distaste for instant messaging has kept up since then, and that and the fact that I really do have a lot going on in college combine to why I haven't been on much.

You are one of the most wonderful people I know, and I know I'll always love you even if I can't quite categorize, explain, or understand that love.

[anzu-less.livejournal.com]

I miss you too, but I just have such... issues with IM. I don't know why I'm so scared of becoming close to you again... I feel like when we talk it's so easy to fall into that pit of awkwardness, and just... I always feel like it's my fault. If I ever gave up on anything, it was loosing confidence in myself, and my ability to just talk to people.

[anzu-less.livejournal.com]

Maybe. It's something I'm working to get over... And you're right. In some ways, it's easier to talk to people, because you have time to think about what you're going to say. On the other hand, there's all the pressure of having a one on one conversation, as opposed to spending time with a group of people, where if you have nothing to say, you can just... listen, which I love. As for blocking... I can never block anyone, I can't even refuse group invitations of facebook! I just let them sit there, because if I block them, I'm admiting that I don't want to talk to them and that just feels so mean.

Thanks... I guess it's just different views on what's selfish or not. But that does mean a lot to hear you say. And you're right, real life or internet, I don't think I could handle a relationship and the time commitment it entails. You really are... so considerate for understanding? I don't know, you're being so wonderful about all this truth that I've been so reluctant to say I guess I'm just not sure what to feel ^_^:;

Thank you. I'll remember that.

Mm, I just read. It was wonderful <3